I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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