he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
