you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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