I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
