no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
