You just made me feel so damn special
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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