do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
