he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
