was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
