Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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