drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
