If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
