i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
