i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
no. you can't hotbox the world.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
