I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
