your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
