I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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