Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
