its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
