Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
