first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
