Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
