I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
