im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
