So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
