i already hear my dad disowning me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
