Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
