so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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