bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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