so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
