I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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