new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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