i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
