fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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