hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
