Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
