I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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