i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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