Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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