are you still at the devil's house?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
