Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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