so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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