Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
