I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
