He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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