you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
