My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
