Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
