Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
