he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
