I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
